self reflection

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"don't be good, be great."  his words always had a way of penetrating straight through to the core of me.  these words were no different.  

one of the hardest things to do is to admit your flaws, and make changes to eradicate them. 2018 has offered me nothing but opportunity to face this challenge, head on.  in having the audacity to think i can be successful at this, self reflection has been my foremost activity.

the last week or so has presented a unique set of areas of opportunity.  mostly with regard to being honest with myself.  as of late, i feel like i've been dealing with an internal struggle between what my mind can make sense of and what my heart and emotions feel compelled to do.  and that struggle is real!

in my attempt to get to the ground floor of it all, i came to a harsh reality.  i'm kind of a hypocrite.  i want people to do things, be things, admit things, that i myself struggle with.  struggle with so much in fact, that some of these things i almost never do.  it was a humbling experience to discover the depth of this flaw.  i'm coming to terms with who i really am, and seeking to align that with who i understand myself to be.  only then can i effect long lasting change in my life.  i'm on a quest.

i'm starting here: 

how do the people i care most about, see me? what do they see as my strengths, my weaknesses?  what makes me uniquely me?  how do i make them feel?  if they could instantly change one thing about me, what would it be?  

i'm not seeking for them to fix me, simply for me to get a better view of what i'm projecting into the world.  how does that align with what i think i'm projecting?  where do i need to adjust?  do i need to adjust?  at the end of the day... i love me.  but i can always be better.

stay tuned... i think my growth is going to be quite a sight to see.

-theintrospective