protect your peace
sometimes, saying "no", is the best thing we can do for ourselves. it's definitive, there's no gray area. our peace should be managed that way. definitive. no gray area.
this week has challenged me to evaluate and prioritize my peace. my home is my perfect place. it's quiet, sweet smelling and has a hum that plays through the day the way a granny hums while she cooks. it's perfect here. interrupting the energy in my perfect place has major effects on my energy. so when my sister friend asked to work from my home, i should have thought through it a bit more. i didn't. i obliged her. i regretted it. to quote love jones, she was "wrecking my flow." fast forward to a conversation i had with another friend, who seemingly never sees the error in his ways. there's always a reason. a joke. an excuse. it's interrupting my journey. you are a dam amidst my river. i'm very much an "organic flow" type person. if they can be, let things be what they will be. but you two... you're fucking up my zen.
there's a moment in EVERY relationship, that i consider it's defining moment. that pivotal moment when everything hinges from here. control that moment. i've found that these situations often dictate the abundance (or lack) of peace in our lives. saying "yes", when we want to say "no", second guessing our gut instinct, compromising our true selves;. all these things chip away at the sovereignty of our lives.
my agenda is one that calls for massive amounts of communication coupled with standing firm in what i know is right and fair. when the reality unfolds that i'm not going to be able to maintain my form of sanity as a result of dealing with someone too closely, i pick me. the easiest way for me to do that, is by compartmentalizing. i let people be who they are. if they are only a good "drinking buddy", i let them be that. i never expect more. disappointment exists because of expectation. disappointment disrupts peace. acceptance trumps disappointment. choose acceptance, and push forward.
i'm not suggesting selfishness, but self preservation. it is perfectly okay to choose you. protect your peace. fight for it. stand up for it. demand it.