can i pee in peace?!
i've had a lot of "jobs" over the years. i say jobs with parentheses because i never really punched a clock anywhere more than 2yrs except for mac and my momma. everywhere else was more like a gig, to get me from one place to the next. temporary... and they had no idea. but of all these jobs: insurance agent, substitute teacher, personal assistant, dance group manager, creative director, makeup artist, office manager, hair stylist, brand manager... "mom" is the hardest! this shit is exhausting. what helps me through those longs days... giving in. LOL sometimes i just have to submit to the craziness that is bumble bee.
the part i never realized would be my existence... EVERY TIME i gotta pee, she gotta pee! like SERIOUSLY!!!!! it drives me crazy! and in the event, that she doesn't have to pee... she busts in the bathroom with a blanket on her head, pretending to be a ghost, or handful of markers and paper wanting to draw, or fucking barbies... i'm like DUDE!!!!!!!!! can i pee in peace please?!?!?!?!?
mom, i just want to play with you!
seriously? now? while i'm peeing?! bee, get out.
*then she walks away with the sad face. and i feel bad. for trying to piss in peace! unbelievable!
this last time, i said no. i'm not getting up. i'm going to scroll instagram for 10 minutes and pretending i'm pooping to get some peace & quiet. did that work? nope... she insisted. so i made her pee in the tub! #thatswhatbleachisfor