look up

america's great eclipse.  LOL  we try to claim everything.  even the sun and the moon.  but in all this hub bub about the solar eclipse, i noticed something.  we finally looked up.  we stopped looking out, at each other, for something, to find something... we looked up.  to receive.  to experience.  to let the moment happen.

the last few years have been rough.  not civil rights movement or jim crow rough... but rough none the less.  police brutality, tiki torch marches, social injustices, racial tension, TRUMP.... this shit has been crazy.  we've been focused far too much on each other.  not enough on ourselves.  our own spirits, communities, health, wealth, truth.  we've been spending way too much time looking out.  it's time to look in.  look up.

i see these pictures.  white folks.  black folks.  all types of folks.  all looking up.  not checking on how close they are to the next person.  all being blinded by the light.  the same sun.

listen.  people keep asking me, "what do you think about these marches, the monuments, the suggestions to change your city's name, the torches, all this shit?  the honest answer y'all... i'm numb.  things aren't different.  they aren't worse.  they aren't more prevalent and more intense... they're just more publicized.  social media has added a layer to this that we've never had before.  it puts it right there in front of us.  but i don't know if that's good or bad.  i don't know if knowing everything is helping us or hurting us.  it has numbed me.  a lot.  i don't get upset like i use to.  stressed like i use to.  sad like i use to.  it's too much.  it's too much to care about it all.  so i stopped looking out.  i stopped asking why it kept happening.  i stopped expecting anyone else to have the answers.  i looked in.  and up.

we have no control over the crazies.  we have no control over evil.  we only control ourselves.  we only control our good.  and we have to remind ourselves of that.  i'm not saying we don't respond.  that we meet violence with songs and signs... no.  not at all.  but we stop looking to our oppressor for help.  stop asking evil to be kind.

take a breath.  process it.  experience it.  then give it up.  give to god.  we can only control what we control.  outside of that, you're fighting the unknown, at full force.  and what a waste of energy.  redirect it.  turn that energy, that hate, the sadness, the passion, and pour it over your home.  your babies.  your husband.  give it to yourself.  make it pure.  anger can't translate to peace.  it doesn't work like that.  

the sun is new... kinda.  lol let hate go.  find your peace amongst this mess.  and if you feel like you can't, redirect your vision.  up, not out.