"let me do it"
bee is getting to that age where everything is "i can do it." to be completely honest, sometimes that shit stresses me out. like, "bruh, i don't have time for this! let's go!" when i was editing our makeup video, i realized something. "she's better than i expected. when i let her just do it her way, i was pleasantly surprised." this observation applies to more than just makeup.
people often ask me, "how did you get taylor to...?" most times, my answer is something like, "i let her...". for example, a friend asked me, "how did you get taylor not to swallow her toothpaste?" my reply was, "i have her watch me brush, while i let her brush on her own. she copies me. so when i spit, she spits."
i've always sought to empower bee. so why now, when she is seeking to empower herself, do i get so controlling? i have NO answer for this, but i do have a solution. STOP CONTROLLING, AND LET HER DO IT! if she wants to buckle her own car seat, let her. i'll adjust it as need be when she's done. if she wants to crack the eggs, let her. the worse that happens is we're wiping off a counter, or fishing out egg shells. no biggie. when she wants to pour her own cereal, let her. as long as i can pour back the access, who cares?! we often talk about how we want these independent, self sufficient children, but we have to let them be that. we can't do everything for them. it's stifling to both parties.
i would never want to hold my baby back from greatness. and raising greatness is intentional. so here's my plan of attack:
1. BE PREPARED if i know she's going to want to "help" or "do it herself", i have to prepare space for her to do so. Ie. it takes her 3xs as long to buckle her car seat, so i need to put her in first, then load up the car.
2. BE PATIENT often, when i observe her struggling with something, i want to jump in and do it for her. i have to be better at playing the background, and letting her figure it out. 9 times out of 10, she gets there. if she doesn't, she knows that my help is always here if she wants it.
3. BE SUPPORTIVE when you're trying a new endeavor, there's nothing worse than someone standing over your shoulder, naysaying. "if you did it this way, it would be so much better/easier." aye, shut the hell up! i have to give bee my support. cheer her as she fights through the frustration of learning new skills. i will be her cheerleader. i will celebrate ALL of it. her failed efforts. "good try baby. i'm proud of you for trying your best." her almost got its. "wow bee, look how close you were. keep practicing, and you'll keep getting better." her wins. "this is amazing daughter. you worked hard and it paid off." and when she feels defeated, i will encourage and help her. "baby, it's okay to be frustrated, but it's not okay to give up. let's see if there's a way to figure this out together."
the bottom line is, if i want my bumble bee to be the amazing woman i know she can be, i have get out of her way.