dinner for three, please
we went to dinner. the three of us. all three of us. yes, you’re reading that right. me, my love, and bee’s father. all. at. dinner. my love asked for it. after 2.5 years together, we’ve been having the conversation about him meeting bee. but first, i must meet her father. so we scheduled it. a month out. childcare was set, reservations made and calendars synced. a wednesday night dinner for three.
so the night comes… i’m dressed. and i’m stressed. not because i think it will go poorly, but legitimately because i don’t know how it will go. i know both of these men. well. they’re both reasonable, mature, sensible men… for the most part. but when you start to talk about people’s children, blending families, exes and dynamics for all that mixed together… shit might get weird. i exhale the anxiety, and head out for the unknown.
my love is pretty quiet on the ride there, but not awkwardly so. just less chatty than normal. we exchange some laughs, park the car and make our way into the restaurant. upon arrival, bee’s dad is still parking. we get seated at our table and await his entry. they shake hands, firm but not over the top and the conversation commences.
look… this was the most awkward shit i’ve ever done. sitting at the table with these two. i could have never imagined being in this situation. but it wasn’t about me. or him. or him. it was about bee. we all had to put our grown up drawers on and “get comfortable being uncomfortable”. i didn’t say much at first. i let them figure it out. there were a lot of questions. a LOT of questions. but they were necessary. and after the initial weirdness subsided, there was magic. at more than one point, i fought back tears. the reality of my wildest dreams was sitting right in front of me. cohesion. the opportunity for friendship. dap being exchanged and an agreement to do this again.
i was proud. not of me. but of them. that they were able to be men about an uncomfortable reality. that they were able to come to the table humbly. open for dialogue, information exchange and whatever else the universe might see fit to offer. we parted ways with an understanding, that we (as a collective) have a responsibility to bee and all future children, to always put their well being, emotional and mental health first.
it is possible. whatever you desire is possible. the only question is, are you ready to make it work?