co parenting is trill

2016 has been TRYING... to say the least, but one of the things I am truly grateful for, is bee's dad.  i know that's not what most almost divorced women would be saying... but it's true.  we disagree about a lot.  A LOT! but one thing we can always agree on, is putting bee first.  in doing so, we often have to put our own feelings, desires, and even plans/schedules to the side.  my friends often remark about how "cool" it is that mr. and i are able to be "friends" through our seperation.  we have a schedule that splits our evenings with bee 50/50, we split any bee related expenses, and we recently initiated weekly "family dinners".  it's important to both of us that she not be negatively effected or have a broken concept of family, love or male/female relationships because her parents are no longer together.

people often ask, "isn't it weird spending time together like that?  how do you actually do it?"  the honest answer is... it isn't about me.  it's not about him... or our comfort.  it's about her.  it's what she deserves.  when you are truly able to remove yourself from the equation, you are able to make the necessary sacrifices to provide the environment you most want for your family.  even if it isn't the traditional family structure.  yes, i want to punch him in the face sometimes... A LOT of times, but he's a great dad, and i could never let my personal (and usually temporary) feeling about him get in her way.

equally as important... mr. & i are friends.  we talk.  we share victories, we have "friend dates".  we manage to stay connected.  we were friends before we were married, and it's been important to us throughout our ten year history to maintain that friendship.  i know that a lot of people don't have the luxury of being friends with their "x", but finding a common ground will allow for decisions about your family to be that much easier.  there's a respect that occurs in a friendship.  it allows you to disagree and still be humble and cooperative. 

at the end of the day, co parenting is the pits. LOL no wife ever dreams of doing it "alone", no matter how present her mr. is.  we want our families to be whole and healthy.  but when they crack, as they often do, don't let all that you've learned from one another go to waste. prioritize.  sacrifice.  communicate.  execute.  if you can manage to keep your feelings in check and move from a place of love, it can be much better than you ever anticipated.

-thecoparent